Toxic Pinoy culture

What are the toxic Pinoy traits/behavior that you have observed or experienced? How did you deal with it?

In my observation, maraming ginagawang retirement funds ang anak nila. :neutral_face:

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Yung pasalubong sa mga umuuwi na ofw. Or yung expected na ililibre sila palagi porque ofw

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Yung nagpapagalingan ng mga anak. Hays

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Yung usual conversation starter yung pagpayat/pagtaba.
Hindi marunong magbigay at tumanggap ng compliment.

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Yung nakwentuhan lang ng ibang tao about an issue tapos nakikisawsaw at may say na sila kahit hindi naman sila directly affected and part ng issue. In other words chismosa at chismoso. Hindi na nga nakakatulong sa solusyon, pinapalaki pa yung problema.

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Andami! Haha. Air travel muna. Sa eroplano talaga, isang bagay na na observe ko. Pag papunta sa Pinas, yun mga Pinoy, kahit nag t taxi pa lang, nagtatayuan na. Pag sa iba nag l land, hindi naman ganun :shrug:

Same with following mga boarding groups. Sa Pinas pag boarding na, kahit rows xx to xx lang, sisingit pa rin ang madami.

Sabi ng Socio prof ko yung Pinoy daw kasi ang concept ng bawal, bawal lang pag mahuhuli.

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@arwen, napapansin ko din ito sa ibang Asian groups like Chinese, Korean, sometimes Japanese, Indonesians, etc.

More particularly, in Pakistan, walang konsepto ng (excuse me sa) pila. As long as nakapila sa unahan mo ang isang family member nila, pwedeng pasingitin ang buong clan nila.

For (almost) all Asian groups, magugulo kahit naka-on ang seatbelt sign. To be fair, sa lahat ng napuntahan ko (sa Asia except Japan and Singapore), Pilipinas na ang pinakamaayos na pasahero.

OnT: agree ako sa pasalubong ng OFWs. I hate how they see OFWs as may pera. Also agree on children as retirement fund.

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Creating Drama

Bawal sumagot sa nakakatanda kahit mali sila.

Filipino time :roll_eyes:

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Magagandang plato at gamit naka reserba sa mga bisita. Mayabang ang dating nito sa akin.

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So after 8 years, nag-visit ako ng Philippines. I flew PAL via Toronto airport. So naghihintay ako to board the plane, I was waiting in the lounge. Nung nagtawag na sila to board, aba nakalimutan nung mga kababayan natin kung paano pumila. Pero sa ibang airline (I flew Air Canada before and Cathay, di naman ganun). Dahil ba Filipino carrier kaya naisip nila na okay lang magsingitan sa pila?

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Hindi ko naisip na mayabang siya pero for me it’s stupid. Im not gonna spend money and time caring for fancy dinnerware only for guests to use. Sinabi ko sa nanay ko dati bakit hindi natin gamitin araw araw yung magagandang plato instead na ibang tao lang gumagamit :smash:

For me:

  1. Expecting the abroad relatives or friends to foot the bill for everything. Yung di ka man lang mag u offer ng something to welcome them from your own pocket kahit banana cue sa kanto man lang.

  2. The worst for me, and I realize this is not culture specific really but I tend to experience only among Pinoys both abroad and sa Pinas… the overhwhelming tendency to keep up with the Joneses. The compulsion to compare, compare and compare. This is made more apparent because of social media… Yung endless bragging and self promotion. And I’m not excepting myself either… I grew up hearing and seeing it around me and just the way people think… yung madali tayo maimpress with outward appearances. Branded clothing and gadgets, sasakyan. And whoever do not carry themselves a certain way is dismissed as a nobody, even by help staff in stores or hotels. Shallow and superficial in short.

  3. .Color shaming that is normalized by comedians and mainstream entertainment. Yung punchline is dark skin–this is the extent of our comedy. Explains why the whitening industry is raking it in. We are feeding ourselves this narrative na fair is better and the darker your skin is, the less attractive you are. Pero mas irritating yung patronizing idiots who attempt to tell you “ay mas maganda yung skin mo kasi yan nagugustuhan ng mga foreigners kasi exotic” WTF?! :confangry: or the lame: “black is beauty”. Yung mga pa konswelo ba. You think I hate dark shaming because I feel unattractive? Sorry speak for yourself. I dont see my worth measured in how little melanin I have, thank you very much. And also, black, brown, white yellow who the heck cares. Yes i take care of my skin and I spend money on skin care so I don’t have to look prematurely old, but I dont try to bleach myself senseless so I can fit into everyone else’s idea of beauty.

(I think dapat nasa rant thread ito :rotfl: )

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@calvinlucas :uhhuh: ganyan sa akin usually, whenever I fly PAL vs Cathay :slight_smile:

On topic - naisip ko how the expectation of caring for your elderly parents has permeated even yung Social Amelioration Program. Isa “daw” sa implementing guidelines sabi ng Nanay ko ay pag me anak ka na nag w work sa abroad, disqualified ka for SAP. Not that I don’t care for my mom, pero nasaan sa batas yung required alagaan ng anak ang magulang. It’s not something I dislike but to integrate it in social packages is :disappointed:

Yung mga officemates ko dati sa US cannot wrap their heads around this idea (taking care of your parents). Pero ako rin naman di ko gets yung elderly homes nila.

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I think that’s pretty universal. Hahaha. Makita mo lang yung mga helicopter parents dito sa US.

OnT:

  1. Yung pagiging barubal sa sariling bayan. Kapag nasa ibang bansa, takot na takot mahuli. Pero kapag umuuwi, parang mga nakawala sa kural. Ipagyayabang pa yung pagiging “madiskarte” nila, and many of these people are the same ones singing praises kung gaano kaayos sa ibang bansa.

  2. Colonial mentality. We have a very poor sense of nationality. Yung ibang Pinoy sa US, ayaw ka nila kausapin ng Tagalog kahit alam mong naiintindihan ka nila. They will always insist on speaking to you in (broken) English only. Daig pa sila ng ibang mga 2nd, 3rd gen Fil-Ams who were born here and are always looking for someone to speak to them in their native language.

  3. Obsession about being white. Gusto lagi maputi na parang kasalanan maging maitim. Someone remarked to me before that the Chinese are the same, but I argue they’re more naturally fair. Tayo kayumanggi talaga. We are the biggest wannabe Americans out there.

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Using English as a gauge of being educated / social status.

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  1. Returning OFWs and the pasalubongs and libres. In the words of my late mom: ano ako tumatae ng pera?

  2. Yung ginagawang retirement fund and all yung mga anak.

  3. THE WEIGHT COMMENTS!!! Allcaps yan dahil lagi akong biktima niyan. Pwede ba, this has to stop.

  4. The Maria Clara stereotype of what a Dalagang Filipina should be. Juicecolored, the moment I hit puberty yung mga pakialamerang titas and neighbors comment on my pagiging galawgaw, outspoken, and all that saying if I don’t behave a certain way, mabubuntis agad ako or that I’m haliparot and will attract the wrong kind of men. Actually, tagal ko pa bago nabuntis and I may have attracted the wrong men but that’s like late into my 20s na. One of those titas had a daughter who’s the mahinhin type got pregnant right after high school. Hypocrite much that tita. Di ba?

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Agree ako as in dun sa porke you’re from overseas, you are footing the bill.

Pati yung keeping up with the Joneses–nakita ko ito in action sa trabaho ko. During my work, I met someone who really looked sad. I asked her why, kasi daw yung nanay nya napilitan na yung family nila ang mag-hermana mayor sa fiesta sa kanila kasi “may anak silang nagtratrabaho sa ibang bansa”. She had to explain sa nanay nya na tinitipid nya yung pera nya for something. Nag-away daw sila ng nanay nya, kasi mapapahiya daw yung angkan nila. She ended up advancing her salary dun sa boss nya for the effort.

Also, yung biases about marriage, that you have to be married at a certain age, otherwise pagdududahan ka. I had to shoot down someone who asked my why am not yet married by telling that person, masaya ako sa buhay ko at wala kang pakialam dun.

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Sobrang hospitable na tipong magkakanda utang na para lang ma-accommodate ang bisita, magpakain nang bongga pag fiesta, kasal, binyag, etc.

Di ko rin feel yung nagdadala ng plus one sa party kahit di naman invited/nagpaalam. Naalala ko birthday ko tapos biglang may dalang friend yung tito ko. Ang kapal lang kasi buffet yun so babayaran pa namin kahit di ko naman kapamilya. Ok lang naman kung sinabi in advance. Onga pala, di man lang ako binati ng happy birthday. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Also yung ginagawang ninong/ninang para humingi ng pera. Daming thread na ganito sa FB. Magmemessage yung nanay sa ninang tapos pag di nabigyan kung anu-anong masasama ang sinasabi. :roll_eyes:

^speaking of bisita at kasal, sa atin lang ba obligado ka imbitahin ang mga kumare at mga mga tito/tita (basta may representative per pamilya :bah:) pag ikakasal ang anak? Yung magkakatampuhan pa. Labo.

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Dami ngang horror stories na ganyan! Yung mga married friends ko nahirapan magmanage ng bilang ng bisita kasi laging nagpapadagdag yung magulang nila. Pag ako kinasal, secret wedding nalang haha

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