Kids Say the Darndest Things

Parenting 101
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Cute naman ng kiddo mo @jhome :smile:

Lumabas sa fb memories ko, 4years ago so mga 4yo si lo. She came to me dala ang tablet nya:

LO: Mommy, let me show you something. Look at this. And this. This one pa.
Me: What do you want mommy to do? (i have a bad feeling na cos all toys)
LO: Buy them for me. (runs aways from me)

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We were watching penguins on the San Diego Zoo live cam. Then a man with an oxygen tank surfaced from the water.

My 5-year-old excitedly said, “It’s the stupid diver!” :rotfl:

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Before i got pregnant (currently pregnant), my husband and I would ask our daughter if she would like a baby sister or a baby brother. She would always say baby sister.

When we found out that I am currently expecting, we asked her again if she’d like a baby brother or a baby sister.

2-yo: “Baby sister!”
Dad: “How about baby brother?”
We were surprised when she pointed at my tummy and said “No. baby sister!” Nobody told her about my tummy carrying her sibling.

Well, we won’t know until sometime in July if my tummy is carrying a baby boy or baby girl.

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So, the kiddo is learning more and more recently. Here are the recent stuff:

When the Chinese yaya arrived this morning, he opened the master bedroom and pointed to his dad telling the yaya:
“Badoo, sleep!!!” in a loud voice

Another incident naman, but in public, sa airport, sabi ni mister while he was peeing daw, itong chikiting sabi sa ibang tao sa CR:
“Badoo pee-pee!!!” sabay turo kay mister

May barker in the making po ako. :rotfl:

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I was pinching my 5-year-old’s cheeks, sabi ko “Let me pinch your cheeks, because you’re so cute!”

Punta sya sa mirror kasi parang di sya naniniwala, tapos biglang sabi, “Oh!” :rotflmao:

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My 2 yo kid played with 3 different-sized statues, 2 mother mary’s and 1 jesus, and kept calling them, “baby mary, mama mary and daddy mary”. Then after she’s done playing with them, the smallest statue went missing. Up until now, we can’t find it kahit na naglinis na kami sa buong salas.

This morning, she was given a piece of chocolate (ferrero rocher). She went to our salas then came back to the dining area and asked for another one. When we asked her where she put the first chocolate… she just said “i don’t know”. We looked around for it but did not find it. I threatened her that her daddy won’t buy more chocolates tapos biglang sabi sa akin, “come hurry”. she pointed at our shoe rack na may kurtina sabay sabing, “chocolate is hiding”. Sure enough, nasa may shoe rack.

Now, we’re asking her where “baby mary” is. pero same sagot nya. “i don’t know.” problem is wala kaming pang /threaten/ sa kanya to make her show us where she hid baby mary.

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When my kiddo was around 3yo she said she wanted a doctor toy set. I said we can check the toy store at SM but that she can’t buy other toys.

When we got there all these ates and kuyas were following her showing her different toys. Medyo tiangge moments at parang kame lang ata tao nun.

While I was talking to one of them, I saw 2 girls approach my daughter with barbies and accessories.

Girl 1: Ito maganda to. May friend pa to.
Girl 2: Ito yung friend nya, may bags pa sila.
Daughter: No thanks, expensive yan.

Natawa nalang kame ng kausap ko at maka-expensive naman anak ko, good job sya that day. :smile:

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Katy: Kayo rin ba kapag nagwiwiwi, umiinit talampakan niyo?
Kal: Well, ako kapag nagwiwiwi, umiinit titi ko.

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How would 2 girls have sex? I understand if they’re boys, they’ll insert the penis in the anus but what about girls?
:flushed: He was 7 when he asked that

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Putting my son to bed and I have a sudden urge to pee. I tell him I have to go to the bathroom. He says no and tells me to stay. I reply that I don’t have a diaper like he does. He then tells me to “squish” my “penis” so I can “hold the pee in.”

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Just last night, my now 8yo was playing an old game I reinstalled in my laptop (Eidos’ Beach Life):

Me: Saya no? Try ko reinstall Command and Conquer next.
Kiddo: What’s Command and Condom, mommy?
Me: :surprised: Con-Quer yun, iba ang condom.

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@AvA, hahahaha! Did you explain o alam nya na ang condom?

PS. May beachlife din ako sa laptop :joy:

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Hinde ko pa na explain. Medyo wala ako sa huwisyo kanina at busy kame maglaro, 2 laptop namin ang meron Beach Life so magkatabi kame naglalaro now :smash:

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Me: Arabella, can you pls put away your tiger plushie, it’s almost dinner.
A (5yo): It’s a leopard, Mom.
Me: Oh, yeah that’s what I meant.
A: Does the toy look orange to you?
Me: Um, no.
A: Does it have stripes?
Me: No.
A: Then it’s not a tiger.
Me: YES, I GET IT NOW :embarasslaff:

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Compilation of road trip moments:

Road trip games:
Food that starts with letter G:
5 y/o: Green apple!
:laugh:

5 & 7 year old playing Stack the States on the iPad:
5 y/o: Kuya, what’s this? (asking his Kuya to help him with the answer, does this around 5x and gets all of them correctly) I’m so good with this!
7 y/o: Because I’m helping you! :lol:

5 y/o at the rest area (with a loud voice): The people aren’t wearing masks here!!

5 y/o after we stopped at the gas station: Is Papa going to pee or poo? :rotfl: ->buti na lang nasa loob pa kami ng kotse :lol:

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With a 7 y/o nephew na payatot:

Me: kumain ka ng marami, di yang para kang ibon na tumutuka
7 y/o: eh bakit kayo tita, di kayo kumakain ng marami?

Lesson learned: bawal ang diet pag kasabay kumain ang mga bata :jumpclap:

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So kanina, we took my son with me for my husband’s resident permit renewal. We passed by a bunch of yellow construction cranes. Sabi ng anak ko:

“Giraffe!!!”

Hubby corrected him, “Say after me, it’s a ‘crane’!”

My son, “Giraffe!”

I remember something recently. This is the link https://news.cgtn.com/news/2020-05-23/Oil-pumps-painted-as-giraffes-near-kindergarten-in-east-China-QJ7nGGt0TS/index.html

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When I was 19, I tutored 2 sisters (5 year old, 9 year old). Nagmamakulit si 5 year old tingin nang tingin sa mirror making faces imbes na magfocus sa homework kaya sinermunan ng ate.

“Gawin mo pinapagawa sayo ni ate Abby. Kahit maganda ka kung zero ka wala rin. Tingnan mo si ate Abby kahit di sya maganda smart naman.”

Out of the mouths of babes :rotflmao: thank you ning for the confidence boost.

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Namumuro sa tatay niya yung anak ko lately. Kanina nung dumating yung yaya niya, sabi na naman niya “Badoo sleep!”

With matching action ng tulog and snoring ng tatay niya.

Buti na lang mas maaga ako nagigising sa anak ko! :hahaha:

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Anak ng friend ko:

Friend: “Ate, brush your teeth again. I can smell your breath. It’s baho.”
Daughter: “But I brushed my teeth already!”
Friend: “Do it again…properly this time, please.”
Daughter: “Eh ‘di cover your nose na lang.”

:lol:

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