Children never fail to surprise and make us laugh, especially when they catch you off guard and say something unexpected.
So I was singing a lullabye for my 3 year old so he can go to sleep
Me: The first three notes just happen to be Do Re Mi
3YO: Can you start from the very beginning? It’s a very good place to start.
Well played.
One time sabi ko sa anak ko, ulitin mo isulat yung assignment mo, lukot na yung papel.
Tiningnan nya ako tapos sinabi: “ Bakit Nay, hindi naman magbabago ang sagot ko?”
Grade 1 sya nyan. Imagine how our discussions run now 
I’ll make an animal sound and my nephew would say ano’ng animal yun. Then, he asked “Ano’ng sound ng zebra?”. Sabi ko, “Ah, malalaman mo yan paglaki mo.”
After that, nag-search ako sa YouTube (wala pa smartphones nun). Thought a zebra would sound like a horse pero hindi. Amazing!
Aminin, isesearch mo rin yan! 
My son on making him eat breakfast: “I have a choice”
To a girl watching him play pokemon saying that xxxx is the best starter pokemon: “Well, that’s yoir opinion. In my opinion, it’s yyyy”
My daughter, first international flight via PAL:
“Nay kala ko maganda dapat stewardess?”
My son is 2 pero nagsisimula na…
Last January in Macau (days before lockdown in China), my son and I are with my sisters, cousin, and aunt. Hubby was home kasi he was dealing with his bulging disc issue. Hubby called us to check on us, my son said:
“Bye, see you later!” (more like “Bye, see woo lay-tah”)
Ay, ayaw kausapin tatay niya.
Pwede ba dagdag dito mga non-verbal darndest things kids do? 
Anak ko ulit while I was telling her na wala na ako mabilhan ng Coke Zero: “Nay, yun ibang tao wala makain 
”
She’s no longer a kid but I never complain about missing groceries now.
Hininaan ko yung radio (si Alexa actually), umiyak ang anak ko. Tinanong ko kung bakit, nakikinig daw siya and I didn’t say “May I please turn the volume” daw at kailangan I “have to say sorry” pa 
ano sinabi mo?
OnT: Me said, “bantayan mo ang sinaing”. Nephew said, “bakit saan ba siya pupunta?”
@perlita Diversion! The best tactic for toddlers!
“Anak, may special happy meal yan si Stewardess “ (kasi minsan may choices for inflight kiddie meals).
FA was kind enough, she smiled and then asked daughter her choice.
Nung nag preschool exam anak ko, she was around 3y3mos at that time.
Teacher: Ok, write the letter W. Can you do that?
Lo: wrote V
Teacher: That’s not a W, that’s a V.
Lo: Dami dami kase up and down, up and down. Papagod ako.
tawa ng tawa ang principal sa kwento ng teacher habang nageexplain sa akin na they’re recommending she go to K1 instead of prep.
Napasearch ako tuloy. Pati sa giraffe hinanap ko. 
OnT: tinanong pamangkin kong 3yo. Anong gusto mo paglaki mo? Doctor, engineer? Pamangkin: Burger! (priorities nga naman)
Me bawling over HP7. Nephew said, “why don’t you start over again?”
Our son was almost two and we were crossing the border back home from Hong Kong.
So, nasa immigration counter na kami sa Mainland China and the officer was scanning na our passports. Usually, we get asked anong Chinese name ng anak ko kasi he’s born in China. We just answer wala or we say he’s called Dongdong (Winter-winter) as a nickname kasi it’s based off our family name. While we were answering the office, she scans our son’s passport na sa machine at yung anak ko sumigaw:
“Ayi! Ayi!” (Auntie, auntie!) to the officer. Gulat yung immigration officer kasi nag Mandarin yung anak ko. After that nag “Xiexie” pa siya sabay flying kiss. Hindi namin alam if tatawa ba kami or what pero at least he made the immigration officer’s day because these guys barely smile at all.
Convo before dinner yesterday
Maia (oldest): Hey Dad, you know what MOM stand for?
Dad: What?
Maia: Made of Money
Dad: Ok 
what about Dad then?
Maia: Hmmm ooohhh I know… Disappointment after disappointment
I suddenly wanted to to give @Whims a pat on the shoulder. 
When my kiddo started school, medyo hinde siya magaling sa Filipino (until now actually) so we we’re studying some Filipino words lang for practice.
Me: Anong tagalog ng Elephant?
Lo: hmm…
Me: starts with an E too.
Lo: elepanto!
Kinukulit ko pamangkin ko. Medyo naiinis na siya. Sabi ko, peace sabay peace sign. Sabi niya “no peace, no peace, no peace!” with head shaking and feet stomping. He just turned 3 last month.
Before the ecq, i rarely cooked due to time constraints so whenever i actually made something, my daughter would be like “it’s been 85 years…”
Natatawa kang ako kasi ginagaya nya yung meme na matanda sa titanic, passive aggressively throwing shade at me too 
My 3yo pamangkin after leaving the mechanic shop nagpa hangin ng gulong ng tricycle: tenkyu, babay! (Sabay wave)
My sister when she was 3 or 4, coming in to the dining room full of bisita, after going to the bathroom: “sino tumae dito, may tae sa toilet!” 
Me as a 4 year old ayon sa kwento nag inuman ang lolo ko with his friends. Tapos nag alisan at naiwan sa mesa mga baso ng tuba. Umakyat daw ako ng mesa at pinag iinom yung mga tira 
^lafftrip! Bwahahahaha!
My husband always kisses me and toddler before he leaves for work. One time, hinabol nya tatay nya sa pinto at sinabing, “how about Ate Day (our yaya) ? We are family!”.
Ayun lang, ang hirap iexplain.