I used to be a firm believer of that love-conquers-all bullshit. But over time I have come to realize that (cliche as it may sound) love is not enough.
I think am at a certain point in my life where I have to choose whether to let go of person or not. I’m uncertain though on how I should decide. On one hand, I think I’m scared of being alone. But on the other hand, sometimes I think being with this person is just too much work (like leading dead horse to water)
Have you ever had difficulty walking away from someone? What made you decide to finally leave that person? Did you regret making that decision?
I will walk away once I feel that there’s no longer respect between the two of us.
My non-negotiable (if and when it happens it’s goodbye, but thankfully hindi pa naman nangyayari sa akin): if the person lays a hand on me or becomes violent.
I know I am not an expert on this. I’ve been thinking of this question before. I don’t know. I think when you feel like every effort you make to make the relationship work is a big chore. When you do not see yourself spending the days of your life with that person, probably good projection is for the next 5 years para malapit.
Im of the Ira Glass school of marriage. Im all in. This is the reason I had such very specific requirements before I went I Do hehe. Hubby fit all of my major bullet items and all others are just life and minor human failings that Im sure I also have.
Sabi nga, do not be afraid to be alone. Hindi naman ibig sabihin nagihiwalay kayo, wala ng chance na maging kayo uli. My husband and I broke up twice noon. Pero ngayon happy kami sa isa’t isa. No regrets. Walking away, doesn’t mean giving up. Minsan yung space nyo sa isa’t isa will teach you guys to value each other more. Tipong, ganun pala pakiramdam pag wala sya. Ganito pala ako pag mag-isa. You will actually learn more about yourself if you do try to walk away. It is not cowardice. Pwede namang mahal mo lang sarili mo dba? Or dahil mahal mo sya. Sabi nga nila it is actually the bravest thing to do kasi you have already accepted change. Maiba naman…
^i think that walking away takes more courage than staying (in a bad relationship). I know a couple of people who NEEDS to walk away (from abusive, toxic relationships) but dont kasi concerned sa sasabihin ng ibang tao (kesyo hiwalay, failed marriage, naanakan etc), and fear being alone. These are the people who live in other people’s opinions of their lives.
Which is maling mali dba. Bakit mo iisipin ang sasabhin ng ibang tao? Sarili ba natin di natin iisipin? Mahalin muna ang sarili bago ang ibang tao. Hindi pangmatagalan ang ganyang relasyon. Naglolokohan lang kung baga.
Thanks all for the inputs. He’s not really a bad person, but we’re not good together, methinks. We’re both high-strung and very assertive.
We’re living apart now (his decision entirely) and the reason I’m really thinking through this is because it does not seem to be a bad idea. I feel some peace, actually. So I get a bit guilty that the space / distance is not bothering me as much as I was expecting it to be. And am getting worried that I’m settling in this new situation.
@Zen-Zen, when you left, did you plan for it to be temporary?
One has to walk away if the relationship is toxic. If your partner ceases to respect you, and treats you like a doormat, failing to value you, then why stay? There are deal breakers and tipping points in a relationship. Even if you’ve been together for a long time, there is no excuse for being unhappy. Choose to be happy than miserable. Choose to allow yourself the joy of receiving true affection. Don’t ever waste time because life is short to be soaked in misery. Walking away can also mean loving yourself first which is your number one responsibility. You cannot give what you do not have.
My best friend shared this advice to me a few years ago and ito na lagi kong ina-apply – “When the heartaches outnumber the heartwarming moments, then that’s the time to let go and walk away.”
No. Don’t plan on anything. It will defeat your purpose of walking away. Whatever happens in the future, remains in the future for now. Present tayo. Love yourself, kung magkabalikan kayo ok, if not, ok parin.
True. Dati sa isang ex. Lagi akong May tanong, May worry, insecure bakit hinde siya nagpaparamdam, etc. Tapos out of frustration , naiyak ka na lang. So mas marami ka beses naiyak kesa natuwa. It was a short-lived one. Hinde na tama na lagi na lang ako nagtatanong at nag worry. Barely making it to half a year, we broke up. True enough that when God closes a door, He opens a window. Didn’t expect na mag uusap ulit kame ni hubby (he was my childhood classmate from elem to HS). And the rest was history. There are reasons why you have to let go. So that you can give way to meet your destiny. I was always a hopeful romantic Kaya nung naging kami na ni hubby, I felt peace and secured. No more crying, worries, insecurities, etc. Dun ko nasabi na ganun pala pag true, hinde mo kelangan ipilit ang sarili mo or ang mga pangyayari. They will just happen and fall into their proper places. Basta wag mawalan ng pag asa. Go lang sa buhay palagi.
Thanks. I guess because I’ve practically put half of my life in this relationship that’s why I feel there’s a need to continue it. But when I think about the next half and whether I’d like to live it this way, that’s when I really have major second thoughts.
