Past or present (pwede ding future ) relationships. Share your how you met stories, experiences, insights, issues, heartaches, and tips on how to stay longer
I am married to an Austrian. We have been together for over 3 years. Maraming cultural differences pero we always meet halfway.
Paano kami nagkakilala? Online dating app then decided to meet abroad after four months of non-stop texting and video calling. After a year of dating, we got married.
Tips to stay longer? Habaan ang pasensya at wag papaapi sa baliw na ex!
Meron akong friend na foreigner ang partner, sabi nya mahirap parin mag express ng feelings kasi May emotions na walang direct English translation. Kaya feeling niya hinde nasasabi lahat sa partner or na express ang emotions tulad ng kung pano natin iexpress with our mother tongue.
I am in a relationship with an American who is way older than me. Masaya naman. Walang stress. Hindi nakakasakal. Met sa dating app
@Marikitpikit totoo yan kaya tinuro ko sa asawa ko yung words na “kilig”, “kainis”, “bwisit” at “gigil” para bawas ang hirap kong mag-explain.
Married to an American almost 4 years na. Met on a dating app, discovered we lived in the same city years ago around the same time ng hindi man lang kami nagkatagpo ng landas.
Dated about year and then we got married before Christmas.
Ok naman kami, more of being open with one another with communicating issues to bridge the cultural gap. Pasensya kailangan na mahaba. Madami silang mga personal issues that surprised me when we got married.
Agree ako kay @Marikitpikit there are emotions in Filipino na mahirap i-fully express.
What are those personal issues?—If you don’t mind
Relationships for the past 6 or so years have been mostly with Europeans. Ang isang challenge ay ang ka-visa-han. So easy for them to come to the Philippines, pero I’d go through hoops to get a visa to their countries. May epekto siya sa power balance ng partners, at nakaka-overwhelm kung hindi ka “shit-togethered” na tao.
My last was with a Caucasian, same age. Met thru an app early 2019. Warning - this is not a happy story.
It started sexual, then started caring/knowing more about each other, and then we got comfortable (ie. practically living with me). When we reached that point of trust, suddenly he exposed his many issues, and they were not petty, they were horrible and at that time for me, unprecedented problems! They needed solutions right then and there, and were matters of life and death. Out of pity and ignorance, I did everything I could to address these, emotionally, financially, mentally, lahat na. I felt it was my duty, that i was his only hope, as he packaged it.
Ending - Almost a year into the relationship, I hit what I felt was my rock bottom, and all because I chose to help someone - made redundant at work, $$$thousands lost, my savings almost completely depleted, my mental health quickly spiralled down, and physical health down the drain (twice in emergency, one in ambulance, surgery in one year), several attempts to ruin my name and to get me into trouble with the law, blamed me for everything, told people lies about me, and even did so online, and then, I was alone to deal with all these.
To summarise, I never loved anyone that much, never provided so much, never deprioritised myself for somebody else, not even my parents nor sibs, but this guy.
And I have never experienced such horrible treatment, never been inflicted upon so much pain and harm,used and manipulated, consistently, and with impunity, but from this guy.
Of course, this can happen to anyone, intra or interracially involved.
Lesson: Never get into rescue mission relationships. The moment you see something odd, run Run RUN! Sometimes, our generosity, nurturing qualities, and ignorance can be used for malicious ends,under the guise of love.
Too late for me. My last relationship was like that. After 7 years (yes I stayed for fuck*n 7 years)— Thank Gahhhd I was able to leave… with no pain at all.--------- Sa pinoy naman yung sakin!
Married to a German. We met in Japan through common friends. We were studying at the same Uni and were also neighbours. Very timely too, since I was going to do further studies in Germany afterwards and he got a job in the same city. He proposed after 3 years of dating. My family plus some friends, including our friends in Japan, came to Germany for our wedding (we got married after I submitted my dissertation. Priorities ) . We’ve been married for 4 years now and have a little wombat.
Insights: I dislike the traditional roles that some members of society impose and I was open about that from Day 1. So it pays to discuss things that you feel are important to you but discuss without drama. For me, it was important that we would treat each other as equals. Parenthood wouldn’t just mean that I would take care of our baby 80% of the time and he would take over when I’d go to the toilet or something. I have a career (plus earning way more than he does) and wouldn’t be giving that up.
How to stay longer: learn each other’s language kung kaya. And learn another language together to even out the playing field, in a sense. My family speaks in English and some bisaya. So my husband learned bisaya too—to the extent that he has a bigger bisaya vocabulary than me. We are still studying japanese. Bear in mind na baka may communication gap lang whenever you are arguing with each other about something. So try to deal with that aspect too.
But 7 years?! Well looking back, I kept on pulling him back too many damn times! So am one to talk!
I have two kids kasi from magkaibang lalake. (oo summa cum lande ako), so when I got older, I kinda settled nalang and tried to fix the relationship para wala na akong marinig sa mga tao sa paligid ko —kaya humaba ng 7 years (Buti nalang supportive parents ko when I left the guy)
Walang masama sa pag-summa. At ngayon ko lang narinig yang Latin honours na yan ha. Magamit nga minsan
Another way of looking at it, simple lang talaga minsan - if there is a need to fix something in a relationship, wag na lang kaya. Most times, the more we try to make things work, the more na mas gumugulo pa eh. And there are things we cannot fix ourselves eh and some personality issues can never be cured (eg. narcissist).
Yuh, I learned it the hard way. Next time pag may red flag bitaw agad!
Tama! Wala namang masama sa pagiging summa- benta yang term na yan ha! Kung saan ka masaya, e di go! @Sh1ttyb4b3
In a similar line, kung san ka hindi na masaya, e di go rin.
(Madaling sabihin, pero minsan mahirap iexecute lalo na kung madaming nagcocomment comment na kung sino sino and nagiimpose (not merely suggesting or advising) ng ideas nila of how things should be. So… kung pwede… nalang
Married to an African man for almost 8 years. To me mas personality and upbringing more than the race factor. We are very different but we share the same values, both close to our families, and we value our work.
Mas yung adjustment is with people around us na di maka get over why we are together.
Korek yung “madaling sabihin pero hirap execute”---------marupok kasi!
Anong issues ng people around you? dahil magkaiba ng race? sila may problema sa pinoy o pinoy may prob sa african?