I had that cousin. We don’t communicate at all since my father passed away. We’ve blocked each other on social media.
When we were kids we were always together. After my 10th bday hinawaan ako ng kuto. This led to my folks arguing with her dad and all and my parents’ strained relationship with her dad strained our relationship. We connected briefly nung college and I was even in her wedding entourage.
We did grow apart naman and it didn’t help our folks didn’t try to mend their relationship to the very end.
Whoa. I don’t mean to trivialize the story of how your family ties were severed, pero ang wiiiiild nito! Dahil sa kuto?!
May mga ganyang factor sa demise of relationships, ano? It’s like, there have been many, many assaults endured. And then, there would be that one final, tiny nail driven onto the coffin.
Natawa ako naimagine ko kasi MMK title Kuto .
Sorry @vaninay i dont mean to diminish your experience pero i feel that yung kuto episode is probably just the adult’s last straw probably the relationship had bee strained before the infamous incident.
Naalala ko kasi yung nangyari sa dalawa sa mga pinsan ng husband ko. Girl 1 had a debut party and somewhere between the prep and party nawala daw yung kwintas niya. Nagpunta sa manghuhula yung parents ni Girl 1 and lumalabas na si Girl 2 daw kumuha which they believed kasi nandun daw sa bedroom ng debutante nung nagprep. E shempre parents ni girl 2 didnt take it sitting down. Full on away ng mga parents and magkakapatid ito na nakatira sa isang street sa isang barangay. Over 10 years daw na di nag usap usap.
Yan ang nakakalungkot when adults cant be big persons at dinadamay mga magpipinsan sa away nila. They lose special relationships dahil sa ego ng mga matatanda na walang pinagkatandaan. Tsk
Para sa akin, mas masakit mag move on sa friendship break-up kesa sa relationship break-up. Ang sakit sakit kasi ang tagal nyo ng magkaibigan. Ang dami ng pinagsamahan, ang dami ng pinagdaanan. Pero dahil lang sa isang pangyayari magbabago lahat… akala ko for keeps eh. I was wrong. Ngayon civil nalang kami. Trying to save what is left. Pero gusto ko nalang alalahanin ang masasaya kesa sa nagtrigger ng aming break-up. Di na nga lang talaga katulad ng dati. Tanggap ko na.
^^ I agree with you @Zen-Zen Ibang level ang pain pag nabuwag ang isang friendship na inakala mong matibay. Kung naging karelasyon mo ang ang isang kaibigan, mas keri pa na hindi na kayo mag jowa pero yung pati friendship talagang nasira, mas matinding pain yun. Pero may friendships na kailangan putulin. I don’t believe in building bridges all the time. Sometimes, there are bridges meant to be burned down, for ones peace of mind and sanity. One has to learn how to let go of people who do not deserve second chances in friendship. I look at it as an opportunity to welcome new people in my life who deserve my attention and affection more. Learn to let go and live by your choice to let go.
@vaninay NKKLK ang revelation. Also, how did you know na yung kuto mo ay galing sa kuto niya? Kidding aside, I agree with @cloud_pillow that our siblings/cousins are our first best friends. Honestly, it would be fun to have that kind of friendship back again. In my case, my cousin doesn’t I am sliding up and down the yet so I am guessing that strained our friendship even more.
Your friends right now, may not necessarily be your friends a few years from now.
Or, those people that you put some degree of commitment, may even be the ones to burn bridges. On the other hand, those people who you invested minimal effort on, are those that may choose to stay, eventually.
My take on that is, appreciate what you have at the moment.
If you get into a point where you feel like you need to beg for a person to rekindle ties with you, then that person isn’t a real friend at all.
Medyo same boat tayo @Jane . Friend ko since Kinder, friends ang parents, went to the same GS and HS. Nagka-falling out nung 4th year HS. We had the same circle of friends so I would get a message here and there. Ok na sana na ganun na lang. Pero sinabihan ako recently na wala sya naaalala about yung time na we were in school. Yun ang nakaka-hurt kasi mukhang wala lang sa kanya yung time na yun kahit na sabi nya sa akin dati na best friends kami. I guess di kami pareho ng definition ng best friend.
Sad din na you lose friends because you got married. Parang ang unfair lang. I know dapat medyo may boundaries na. Pero diba dapat friends pa din?
Kasi siya lang kasama ko sa house noon kaya big deal. She had super long hair and I have bunot hair, paano makakakuto yung less hair, di ba? Saan ba yung kuto mag thrithrive? Eh din dun sa mas makapal at mahaba ang hair.
OnT: May isa pa akong friend na I met overseas na. Pinay din. Met through a Kiwi friend who worked with her. Biglang naglaho eh we were so close. Wasn’t a biggie for me but I’m really puzzled. Yun pala according to my friends siya pala dahilan ng break-up nung friend ko and her fiancé. Siya pala third party. I think in a way, she didn’t want to complicate our relationship with the other friends.
True, mahirap ito i-share, baka hindi maunawaan. Happy to find this thread, reading about your experiences.
I’ve mostly stayed friends with people, maski di ko na nakakausap. Not sure why I think the best usually of people, ayoko lang siguro ng bad blood.
Pero a decade ago nakaranas ako for the first time ng AKO ang na-ghost. Grabe ang heartbreak, hindi ko akalain. Three years kaming magkasama lagi at madami kaming in common. Tinulungan ko pa sha makahanap ng work, na-hire sha sa group ko. One day hindi ko sha nakasama kasi nag absent ako nagkasakit anak ko (binata sha, may girlfriend, niyayaya ako madalas kasi pareho kami ng mga hilig). The next day iniiwasan na nya ako. Nagdelete sha ng FB, then a few weeks later nag interstate sha na work. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko gets. Nakita ko minsan may update sa common friend na kinasal sha. Yung asawa nya hindi naman ako inunfriend sa FB pero hindi rin naman sha active. Natuwa naman ako para sa kanila pero nalungkot din kasi di ko sila nacongratulate.
Inilagay ko na lang sa experience booklet ko. Iniisip ko na hindi ko kilala ang culture nila (he’s of a different kind of Asian, pero born na sa Western culture) pero gulong-gulo talaga ako dahil never ko naexperience ito dati.
Last was a few years back, we were really close then nalaman ko na sinulot ang jowa or ex jowa ng isang kakilala ko. Naturn off ako, and it was just never the same. Nakakalungkot na nakakainis.
May isa pa tinopak bigla na lang nagalit sakin dahil di ko siya nabisita sa hosp. Di na ko pinansin and nagtampo. Bat ganun? Years later i found out na inaantay nia ko magreach out. Di ko talaga gets.
@yuri I would think so too. We were never romantically involved and I tried hard to meet and get to know his spouse but for some reason, it just didn’t pan out. It would be a little bit awkward if I’m a single woman. Oh well. I’m just happy he’s happy and got a beautiful family even if we don’t talk anymore.
ay kabwisit nga yung ganyan! mga nagagalit nalang na di mo alam ang rason. di na namamansin tapos sinisiraan ka pa sa ibang tao. Nyemas. Bat ganun? kaibigan mo yan ha… as in akala mo talaga for keeps na kaibigan amp tapos parang bata kung magalit. So immature!
Lessons learned na ako dyan. Kapag ganyan ang tao, di man lang sabihin kung ano ang issue nya sayo? Wag na. Di na ako magaaksaya ng oras sa taong parang inagawan ng laruan kung magalit.
I feel this so much. Parang feel ko I grieved more losing my friend than nung I got my heart broken over a guy I loved. Masakit pa rin, kasi it’s also my fault in a way. Mej mahirap pa rin i-share since may guilt, regret and grief pa rin na hindi na kayo parte ng buhay ng isa’t-isa.
Minsan din kasi mahirap ishare ang grief kasi pag-iisipan ka na kaya ka affected kasi you were more than friends. Not a lot of people understand that you can love a friend without it being romantic.
@Sora-chan I can relate with you. Iyong pakiramdam na wala kang masabihan kasi baka sabihan ka lang din na kasalanan mo naman pala so suck it up.
@yuri totoo yan. Sobrang kitid ng utak ng mga iyan na mas alam pa nila nararamdaman mo. Galit na galit ako sa ganyan. They will see your friendship other than platonic dahil lang close kayo at hindi kaya ng mga utak nila na may ganung klase na ika-categorized nilang romantic.
Generally, hindi naman ako high maintenance na kaibigan. Pero once na naging close tayo tapos may nangyari, sobrang nasasaktan ako. Matagal bago maka-recover. Iniisip ko na lang ngayon, “part of life” lahat ng nangyari.
I am cutting ties with a friend here. Kapag kasama ko siya pakiramdam ko naja-judge ako sa kung paano ako nabubuhay.
Letter to her:
You don’t have the right to judge me on how I should live because you don’t how hard it is for me to stay afloat and keep my head above the water. You’re making me feel small about myself. And I hate to say it but goodbye. I need to feel good on how I have been living. Keep your opinion to yourself.
naimagine ko kasi MMK title Kuto .
Kidding aside, I agree with 
yet so I am guessing that strained our friendship even more.