Love in the time of Quarantine

Dahil quarantine, hindi lahat ng magjowa ay magkakasama ngayon. Parang naka LDR ang karamihan.

Paano mo ihahandle ang sitwasyon kung nararamdaman mo nang nanlalamig na ang partner mo sayo ngayong magkalayo kayo? Hindi na rin sya cooperative sa gusto mong degree/quality of communication. You already feel insecure sa relasyon niyo. Should you call it quits or hintayin matapos ang quarantine period bago magdecide? Mejo masakit na rin eh. Haha

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Same, LDR rin kami ngayon. Pag may di ako gusto or may nararamdamang iba, I call it out. Good thing is open naman kami sa mga needs and wants because we want our relationship to work.

Maybe initiate fun activities together like Netflix watch party, online games, video call exercises etc? Minsan nagsesendan rin kami ng pics :charing:

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We do the same thing. Pero parang nagiging mechanical na lang sa kanya. parang out of boredom na lang kaya sya nagpaparticipate.

Either im thinking too much or talagang nanlalamig na lang sya.

Sinasabi ko naman na mejo nararamdaman ko na cold na siya, pero dinidismiss lang nya. Ayoko naman magmukhang clingy. Ang hirap eh. Haha

For context, 2 months pa lang naman kami. Kaya hindi pa ganun ka tibay ang foundation. Should I call it quits na? Pero gusto ko pa sya eh. Haha

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Ang tanong, mahal mo ba? Lelz

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i think, mahal ko. I think. Or baka hindi nga? Ego ko na lang ba yung nag hohold back sakin to let go? Hahah nakakagulo ng isip tong quarantine na to. Haha

Masaya ka pa ba?

Tara :drinking: haha

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Gusto ko yan! Virtual tagay! :drinking:

Masaya pa naman ako na nagrereply sya. Hindi na nga lang katulad ng dati. Nagdadalawang isip na kasi ako to call it quits. Kaya lang iniisip ko baka drama ko lang to dahil quarantine. Pero kasi mejo masakit na parang nanlilimos na ako ng atensyon. Hahah

Pakshet! :drinking:

Ay naku, ang attention at pagmamahal kusang binibigay. Pag feeling mo kailangan mong hingin, may mali na dun. Hindi kaya may iba siyang pinagkakaabalahan or baka may problema sa bahay?

Baka naman it’s not about you…

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Pabasa mo sa kanya thread na ‘to. Tapos tignan mo reaction nya. Then you’ll know what to do next.

:drinking: paaaa

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alam ko somehow ang activities nya for the day. Naguupdate naman sya. Pero in betweens, wala na akong alam. Hindi ko din alam how much of it is true. Tiwala na lang kung baga. Kaya mejo alam kong wala siyang pinagdadaanan (or afaik haha)

Pero tama ka. Love is effortless. If we’re exerting too much effort than necessary, it’s probably not love.

Hay :drinking:

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:drinking: haha sige subukan ko. Yung hindi naman magmumukhang obvious na ako to? Haha isipin niya papansin lang ako. :drinking:

The principles are the same, lockdown or not. Remember, love is outward. It’s not about you. What can you do to make that person’s day better? If they don’t reciprocate, the problem isn’t with them. Being together means sharing a life. If they can’t share that amount of their life now, lifting ECQ isn’t going to change anything.

The one I love and I haven’t been intimate in almost a year, because of circumstances beyond our control. Naudlot ng ECQ yung alone time namin. Masakit man siya, we go through it - what’s one small sacrifice compared to eternity?

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What do you mean by this?

Actually, this lockdown is kinda putting a strain on our fragile relationship, for me at least. haha Either nagiging cold na sya or im being too demanding/clingy.

Sa totoo lang, gusto ko kami pa. Kelangan lockdown survivors din kami. That we come out of this lockdown strong. Pero naisip ko, baka ako na lang ang kumakapit. Haha :drinking:

Love is an outward state. Kusang binibigay, walang inaasahang balik.

God, it’s tough to do, especially when there’s anger, hurt, disappointment, or resentment from one side. It’s not going to be easy when they’re the ones pulling away.

That they reciprocate at all is amazing, but it shouldn’t matter. That’s the core principle. You have to do whatever it takes to make the other person happy. That’s how you don’t become clingy. That’s how you stay whole even if you give everything. That’s why ultimately, whether the fragility on your end is the end of the relationship is going to be your call.

That being said, you also have to look out for your own happiness, and by happiness I don’t mean an absence of suffering. Happiness, true happiness is suffering coupled with purpose. Is taking care of an emotionally unavailable person for now leading you to true happiness? Only you can figure that out.

It always seems like ikaw na lang ang kumakapit. If you let go now, then it just goes to show you just how much you want (or in that case, don’t want) the relationship to last.

TL;DR: All we can do is try to figure out how to make their day better. The rest kind of takes care of itself.

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ang ganda at sarap pakinggan ng mga sinabi mo. it all made sense to me. Haha pero theory is one thing, application is another.

Pero salamat. I’ll try to take everything to heart. :drinking:

EDIT: i’ll sleep on this and process everything tomorrow. :drinking: salamat ulit!

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I just ended a 6 year relationship/engagement ngayong quarantine. So i guess the isolation really makes you rethink your life chocies. :woman_shrugging:

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Care to share your thought process when you decided to end it? If you dont mind. :drinking:

Kasi at the moment, may feeling lang ako na baka dulot lang ng anxiety, cabin fever, etc. kaya siguro pakiramdam ko na ako na lang ang kumakapit. so i was thinking, baka kelangan lang tanggalin yung variable na quarantine to make my decision.

Ito naman ay hindi biglaan. Konting background:

Mid 2018, i was in a really bad place, mentally. Caregiver’s fatigue daw. Parang lahat na lang ako nag aasikaso, pati ba naman finances niya ako nag aayos (like legit ako magba budget for him, etc.) So i asked for space. We were 2 years na nun na LDR uli. I wanted to reassess kung kakayanin ko pa else mababaliw na talaga ako.

Anyway, we had the talk, he sort of fixed his life. He sort of manned up whatevs. Anyway. Nagkabalikan.

Umuwi dito last year for vacation, sakto lang. Masaya ako pero di jump for joy levels ang excitement.

Tapos parang bumabalik na naman pagka clingy, etc. Naiirita na naman ako. Early this year, mga lip service na lang usap namin, wala na ako tyaga makipagusap. Then bam! Isolation! Dami ko naisip:

  1. Thankful naman ako na loyal at faithful siya. Pero sa akin lang umiikot ang mundo niya. How will you grow as a person?
  2. Masaya na siya sa kung ano ang meron ngayon. Walang pangarap (bukod sa magkasama kami). Asan na ang personal development goals?
  3. I figured he’s not adding any value to my life. He is happy he has me, pero paano naman ako?

One thing i learned from my 1st breakup is that when you dont find their “quirks” cute anymore, ibig sabihin nun, wala na yung love. Iba rin ang isolation, it does not only give you time to think things through, it actually forces you to do so.

Disclaimer: wala pong 3rd party

Ang problema ko ngayon paano ko sasabihin sa pamilya ko :embarasslaff:

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Thank you for sharing. Now I have a lot of things to process :drinking: but seriously thank you sa inyo guys! :drinking:

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For me, when you don’t find their quirks cute anymore, that’s when true love begins. That’s just me though. :slight_smile:

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